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Vegan or Not?

I was having a hell of a time with my health when I was 23. I was tired all the time, sore everywhere, depressed and in a constant state of not feeling well. Long story short I stumbled across a diet book that happened to be about veganism called Skinny Bitch. It wasn’t opinion based but fact based. It explained in great detail not only what meat and dairy did to the body but how the body was effected by caffiene, sugar and all the other crap we put into us as well. I was between a rock and a hard place and decided to give it a go. I ¬†switched to raw vegan overnight and within a week a felt 15 again. My energy was soaring, my mood was lifted and I had energy for everything. I was losing all of my unnecessary weight and it all just fell off week by week until my body was the most banging I had ever saw it. This lasted 2 years and for some reason I started cheating and that diet cheating ended up turning back into a full fledged binge that has lasted up until now. I don’t even know why I switched back. It doesn’t taste better, it’s just more of an addiction to fat, salt and sugar. My body now craves it and I’m finding it difficult to get off it all again. The first time around was so easy and I guess I’ve been expecting that to happen again but it hasn’t.

 

I’m back to feeling and looking my worst and can’t get a grasp on it again. I feel so much guilt with each meal not only because I know what it’s doing to my body but also because of the animals. The cheapest eggs I can buy at the store, the shells are so thin they almost break by picking them up. I know those chickens have never seen the light a day or walked outside of a cage, Im way too educated now on how 98% of our food is housed and produced. People say they don’t care but they don’t want to watch those undercover videos either. They would just rather live on not knowing. They get angry when certain cultures eat dogs or when they have to dissect a frog but they don’t care to know how millions of pigs and cows are treated to obtain our food. We eat way too much meat period. It makes me sad and angry and of course at myself too. I’m really disappointed in myself and hope I can get back to eating vegan soon. The sooner I do, the sooner I’ll feel 100% again. In the meantime of my body being a graveyard to animals- I’ll keep functioning at 20%.

Just like when I was young my body could process alcohol and now it makes me feel like shit, it’s the same with meat and dairy along with other processed foods. I have to be more kind to myself.

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